Oslo, Norway - (Preposterous Mess): A Norwegian psychic princess says she has developed a rare paranormal talent for reading people's minds and knows who can be persuaded to part with up to £2,000 to study on her daftass ESP course.
Princess Martha Louise, the 35 year old fourth in line to the Norway throne, wants to teach her parents' loyal subjects to communicate with angels.
Her three year course aims to extract a minimum of £6,000 out of participants, who should be able to use their newly bought skills to see the same angelic forces that Princess Martha sees once they have completed the program.
The princess's parents, King Harald and Queen Sonja, were said to be baffled at first when they heard about their daughter's newly announced money-making gifts but have gradually come round to the idea of her earning an honest crust in this way.
Princess Martha's website tells punters that she first realised she had this gift when she was a child and could guess pretty well which of her relatives had a bundle of banknotes in their wallet and which didn't.
"Then later, my experiences with horses helped me to make contact with angels," the website proclaims.
However, there is no mention on the website that this valuable equine experience was gained on the racetrack and the 'angels' who contacted her were Norwegian secret service agents who very kindly paid off her gambling debts to spare her blushes from being sued by bookmakers.
Those signing up online at Martha's Astarte Party Poker and Miracle Center are told they will learn "how to create miracles" in their lives by harnessing the power of their angelic force fields.
"These are forces that surround us and which are a resource for us to use in times of difficulty such as being broke or facing jail on corruption, fraud or embezzlement charges."
"At a time when I was taking care of the horses I suddenly got this contact with my personal angelic forces," Princess M says.
"Now I understand the value of this important gift and I will share it with you if you pay me £2,000 per annum for at least three years.
"Group bookings are welcome."