Psychic Makes MORE Astounding Predictions

Funny story written by Deanna Goodson

Sunday, 4 April 2004

image for Psychic Makes MORE Astounding Predictions
Is it writen in the stars?

Fiona Claire-Vouyant has returned to make more astounding predictions especially for Spoof readers.

"I am just honored to be asked back, but I knew you'd do that," she said and smiled.

Here are her astounding predictions for the next few weeks, months or years. "Fiona is not a pushy psychic at all. She lets you choose when her advice will best fit in with your life. Isn't that great? I mean when she told me that Ben Affleck wasn't right for me, she said I could wait and figure it out for myself. Or not. She's so cool. I am happy to pay her millions of dollars." J. Lo. said.

When she heard what J. Lo said about her, Fiona replied, "I am glad she pays me millions of dollars too. She's so sweet, that one, isn't she?" I thought I saw Fiona wink, but I am not sure.

Her predictions include:

  • There will be a major religious holiday within the next seven days.
  • Israel will have more trouble.
  • Spain will get no closer to finding out who exactly handled the Madrid bombings.
  • Many people will flock to see the "Passion of the Christ."
  • Britney Spears will cancel a concert.
  • Janet Jackson will appear in public.
  • American Idol will be ho-hum.
  • Donald Trump's hair will stay the same.
  • George Bush will say or do something stupid.
  • Osama Bin Laden will continue to hide.

If you wish to have a reading with Psychic Fiona, check out her website: and we'll laugh at you for hours.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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