Washingdung (IP) - Oback Obama is dropping out of the presidential race after nude photos of his mother were found in National Geographix Magazine. It is the first time that nude photographs of a white woman have ever appeared in the almost 100 year old publication.
Over the years it has always seemed perfectly alright to routinely show black women in the nude (much to the delight of teenaged boys and lesbians everywhere) but totally taboo to show so much as a small fragment of an areola or even cleavage when it applies to seemingly more civilized white women.
Mothers of teenagers are frantically searching under their children's mattresses to make sure that no copy of this abomination lurks there and if the pages are found stuck together the shame ridden red faced teenaged boys are taken immediately to emergency medical facilities for treatment. Any musty odor detected in these boys rooms leads to the same result.
Churches, prisons, schools, libraries, uptight parents, and Mosques everywhere were in a frantic rush to remove this dangerous latest issue of NG from the prying eyes of would-be self abusers. Riots have broken out in Arab countries and thousand have died as a result. Most alarming of all the price for a copy of the magazine has now reached five figures on electronic cyber auctions.
The Taliban, Saudi Arabian religious police, and American fundamentalist groups are burning so many copies of the foul book that scientists and Al Gore fear that the effects of global warming will now accelerate much faster than anticipated. Plumes of smoke from these book burnings can be seen from the International Space Station and from weather satellites and CNN is broadcasting the story around the clock. The Weather Channel has promised to air a 6 hour program on this phenomenon much to the chagrin of viewers everywhere who long for the good-ole-days when they could actually see what kind of dangerous weather was headed in their direction instead of having to change the TV channel a soon as terminally boring shows like "It Could Happen Tomorrow" or "Storm Stories" appear on the air.
Obama actually expressed relief because he admits that racism and mistrust of all things Arab or Muslim is so widespread in America that he had as much chance of winning the presidential election as a fart does surviving a hurricane. He stated that if he were to win the Democratic nomination that it would amount to an automatic win for the opposing candidate and that the same thing applies to a woman candidate. "This would just ensure four more years of fascist rule in America" he added. Meanwhile his recently divorced mother has returned to Africa to search for a new husband.