The Long Man Of Wilmington

Funny story written by Egg Man

Saturday, 7 July 2007


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Just one of the many women who enjoyed the Long Man of Wilmington's company

British televisions new girlie twosome Trinny and Susannah's recent defacing of Wilmington's ancient chalk carving of a man on the side of the South Downs in Sussex may well be their downfall.

Twenty-two pagans gathered in protest at the historical site where ITV was filming the Long Man of Wilmington being given a sex change by white clad ladies forming tits and child bearing hips as they lay on the ancient chalk carving.

Little could they have known just how potent the Long Man is, all the ladies who took part are now pregnant.

Arthur Pendragon, a Druid battle chieftain, said: "We are very angry because this is so disrespectful, I'm glad all those women found themselves pregnant, I bet the Long Man had a fantastic time, all those women laying on him must have made him really up for it".

Trinny and Susannah who have made a fortune out of other people's misfortunes were unavailable for comment saying "It must be a coincidence that the women all became pregnant at the same time".

Arthur Pendragon went on to say "The Long Man of Wilmington is a mysterious guardian of the South Downs and has baffled archaeologists and historians for hundreds of years.
The site is a scheduled ancient monument; it is an offence to damage the Long Man so it will be impossible to perform a castration or tamper with it's nob in any way. Any women who climb close to it has to be careful, as Jones the local butcher once said to Captain Mainwaring. THEY DON'T LIKE IT UP EM".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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