Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 14 June 2007

image for Former top Nazi and UN head Kurt Waldheim is dead
Waldheim, second from left, on a parade for the Fuherer's Official Birthday in 1940

Austria - (Ass Mess): Former Nazi Youth pal of Pope Joseph Ratzinger, ex-UN head and retired President of Austria Kurt Waldheim has finally hung up his swastika-emblazoned hobnail boots and died at the age of 88.

His colorful career included being Secretary General of the United Nazi Nations from 1972 to 1982, an achievement that helped him be elected President of Austria in 1986.

Allegations that he belonged to a German army unit that committed atrocities in the Balkans spearheaded his presidential campaign which he won by a huge landslide.

The World Jewish Congress's PR campaign pointing out that he had been a Nazi officer attached to a German Army command which sent more than 42,000 Greek Jews from Salonika to their deaths merely brought out a record 99% turnout in the 1986 election.

His victory was greeted warmly with a congratulatory telegram from both US President Ronald reagan and UK Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher.

Subsequent revelations that he had personally been responsible for the massacre of thousands of Yugoslavs in the Kozara mountains merely warmed the hearts and cockles of his adoring electorate.

Waldheim always denied his covert passionate personal relationship with Joseph Ratzinger and always espoused a heterosexual front in public.

But in his will published today it appears that he has left all his old Nazi insignias, swastika-embroidered underpants and collection of horsewhips to the Pointiff along with the contents of his Vanuatu-registered offshore bank accounts.

Joseph Ratzinger is 84.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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