Hysteric return for Northern Ireland Assembly

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

image for Hysteric return for Northern Ireland Assembly
George W Bush made it all possible of course

Soremount - (Ass Mess): Police officers in Belfast and in the UK are rubbing their hands with glee as the new power-sharing government of DUP leader Ian Paisley and Sinn Fein's Martin McGuinness took office today just days ahead of a 18 year investigation into security force collusion with loyalist paramilitary figures in Northern Ireland being heard in the courts.

As Paisley and McGuinness take up their offices of first and deputy first ministers in the new administration the evidence of collusion in the murder of the loyalist terrorist Billy Wright has now weighed in at over 20 tons.

UK and Irish Prime Mobsters Tony Blair and Bertie Ahern witnessed today's creation of the new executive.

Blair said that the day's events offered the chance for Northern Ireland to "escape the heavy chains of hystery".

Ahern said it was his best chance yet of escaping graft and corruption charges.

Mr Paisley said: "Today we are starting upon the road which I believe will take us permanently away from the threat of life imprisonment on those trumped-up collusion charges."

Deputy First Minister Martin McGuinness said: "We must overcome the difficulties which we face in that collusion evidence by yet another spate of arson attacks in the PSNI offices holding the computer records.

"Let us seize the opportunities that now exist."

Mr McGuinness added he was confident he and the DUP leader could work together.

Bertie Ahern is one cocksure bastard.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Subscribe…
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more