ABC News Gets Owned by thecoolestguy

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Monday, 7 May 2007

image for ABC News Gets Owned by thecoolestguy
thecoolestguy

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Digg.com - A user, who goes by the handle of thecoolestguy bought ABC today. He was extremely frustrated that they completely ignored Ron Paul out of their on-line poll, so he took up a collection using PayPal and bought the news agency outright!

"The bastards at ABC news tried to control public opinion and decide for America who was a serious candidate and who wasn't by leaving Ron Paul out of the online poll, but after a flood of complaints, they were forced admit that they lied and include him in the poll. Digg to embarrass ABC news even more," said thecoolestguy in his post on Digg.com (see ABC News gets owned).

Public outcry has been tremendous in response. Ron Paul, who got 10,761 out of 12,732 after they added his name to the poll, is delighted.

"That'll teach those suckers," said Paul. "Those ABC officials and the Bush administration ought to be locked up for Piracy of the Constitution."

After thecoolestguy purchased ABC, it became the number one station on television. He plans to run Ron Paul adds and speeches 12 hours a day and fill the rest with reruns of Beavis and Butt-head, The Simpsons, South Park, SpongeBob SquarePants, and videos from YouTube by GhostRiders1777, which feature Final Fantasy clips set to music.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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