(Blacksburg, Va) -- Vice President Richard B A Dick Cheney has advised President Jump Suit Cod Piece Bush to retaliate against Iran with a full nuclear (pron: Nook -you-loor) attack in response to early accounts that one of the shooters in the tragic campus shooting here was an Asian man. Spokesperson Skeeter Neocon said that "the logic is unassailable, as the night follows the day, as Iraq follows 9/11 that we take out Iran after this attack on America.."
"We have to fight them there so we do not have to fight them here," somebody else said. VP Cheney was heard humming "How do you solve a problem like Korea..." It was unclear whether the US could start another war before appointment of the proposed War Czar or Tsar.
