Written by Chester Longbottom

Friday, 9 January 2004

image for RMS Titanic Struck Faux-Iceberg

Scientists have recently discovered that when the helmsmen of the RMS Titanic struck what they thought then was an iceberg, scientists know now that it was something entirely different. It was, in fact, the well-known spoof writer, JJ Jogolo.

JJ had been monitoring our planet from his faux-iceberg for quite some time when the tragedy occurred in 1914. He had decided to rest for the night and slept through the proximity alarm that went off when the Titanic neared him.

"I remember waking up to this loud bang and a scraping sound. I thought I'd run into an iceberg. Little did I know that it was the incredibly hyped-up cruise liner making it's maiden voyage. I feel honored that it was my iceberg that up-ended it, but it's also weird in an odd sort of way. My Prime Directive had been violated: I was not to interfere, and it was then and there that I realized the planet was not a safe place and I returned to the Mother Ship for safer observation," explained JJ Jogolo.

JJ has stayed on the Mother Ship since the sinking of the Titanic, however he remains in our orbit undetected by satellites making his observations of the technological advancements of our species. It was only recently that he began meddling in the affairs of our planet again and writing for The Spoof, using what he learned in observing us as his basis for his stories. "Don't tell anybody I'm a Spoofer..." added JJ.

JJ refused to disclose the location of the Mother Ship, and denied further interviews after the previous request was made. Close acquaintance and fellow Spoof writer, Blind Fool -••-, of JJ said, "This little greeny writes stories so well, and it was such an honor to finally dethrone him of the number one spot. He makes me feel like I can do just about anything. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to take care of," and with that he was seen leaving the building where the interview was held with a kazoo in his back pocket.

During one interview, JJ expressed interest in taking a look at the remains of the Titanic, after all he did cause that baby to sink, because the guilt has been eating at his little green soul ever since, however mentioned something about not wanting another Prime Directive violation on his record and changed the subject.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Scientists, Titanic

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