A number of women in the South of England have been experiencing problems with new breast implants.
It would seem that contamination of the silicone is due to Tescos petrol.
"I was walking along the road and suddenly my breasts started to back fire" said a lady from Battle in Sussex. "I was most surprised; people around me couldn't make out where the backfiring was coming from, I sounded like a Ford Fiesta"
Another lady told our roaming reporter that her nipples started to flash and she experienced an overwhelming desire to turn right. "If I had know about this petrol contamination I would never have had my tits enlarged, how can petrol possibly have been confused as silicone"
The makers of the silicone breast implants (Wobblebetter) have tested the implants but can find no fault, a spokesman for the company said " I've had a good feel around with our most popular make and could find no problem at all, the texture is just right and the nipples maintain a firm yet giving consistency".
Any women who think they may be experiencing problems with newly implanted breasts should call into there local garage where the staff will give a free overall and as a good will gesture offer a free general touch up.