German frustrated wife divorces hubby because he has two left-hands!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Friday, 23 October 2020

image for German frustrated wife divorces hubby because he has two left-hands!
Thank the heavens it was just a curtain rail, and not the electrics!

(NOT EDITED) Hanging up curtain rails might be quite simple for most people, However a non-handy man from Bitburg, Germany, possessing 'two left-hands' tends to think quite differently especially having a 'flame-spitting dragon' as a wife!

Hoping to save mega-Euros, the man decided to renovate the house alone because skilled handy-workers are a rarity in Corona times, they're just too busy because German VAT is at an all-time low, and interest rates are zilch.

Successfully navigating demolishing a bathroom wall, his missus complained about the dust and filth. He then managed to paint the walls, but that was too messy according to his wife, who demanded everything being perfect, even when her hubby was splashing paint all over the furniture, and her favorite flowerpots.

OK, after clearing up the mess, his wife, raging, run out of the door leaving hubby to complete several more small jobs, which he cocked up like; drilling holes in the walls at wrong places, fitting taps that leaked, and wrongfully removing a fireplace that his wife adored!

She returned after spending two nights at a girlfriend's house drinking bottles of fabulous Bitburg Beer, plus several bottles of vin rouge, to drown her anger, only to find her house a total wreck!

Whilst entering the front door, her hubby was attempting to hang up a curtain rail! The holes he drilled were much too large, so he attempted to close them with putty. Then he screwed the brackets into the still soft putty leaving the curtain rail totally crooked!

"Enough is enough!" She yelled as the curtain rail bounced off her hubby's head. "We're getting a divorce because I don't need a handyman in bed, which you're pretty useless at anyway, I need one to fix my house!"

Weeks later divorce proceedings commenced and the judge asked, "why?'

She answered, "he's cack-handed, can't drill a hole to save his life, let alone drill me, and has ruined my flowerpots!"

The judge agreed, their marriage was irreparable, their house too! Her hubby is now taking lessons in how to drill holes and hang up curtain rails straight at a local hand-workers college, and is praying that Corona will disappear before he has to renovate another house with a 'dragon' occupying the place!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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