Just when you thought it was safe to pick up a guitar and microphone, the individual members of One Direction have threatened to get back together again.
With the new screeching and invisible-dog-patting-while-singing season getting underway - or X-Factor 2017 as it is officially known, the members of One Direction discovered that they were now down to their last £25 tax free milllion. Also, with space fast filling up on their bodies for yet more tattoos to make care home staff laugh in 60 years time, they felt the time was right to inflict their music on their rather simple but adoring fans.
There were fears that with Zayn Malik having left the group before the original break-up, Niall Horan had also given up the music business and decided on a career in 'teaching 'tings' when he announced last week that "he taught about a lot of tings". However, it was actually his quaint Irish mispronunciation lilt that had girls soiling their underclothes when he actually meant he had "THOUGHT about a lot of THINGS". This is unlike the popular British television soap opera EastEnders, when a member of the cast suggests he or she has been "finking foughts" (thinking thoughts), you can be guaranteed of a soap opera disaster of epidemic proportions.
Louis Walsh, who was too busy showing acts on this years X-Factor how to "nail things" said he was delighted to be so delighted about being delighted.