Trump Resigns, Blames Media Witch Hunt

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Friday, 10 March 2017

image for Trump Resigns, Blames Media Witch Hunt
Women march in celebration of Trump's resignation from the presidency.

Dodging investigations and possible impeachment, President Donald Trump resigned from office after giving a rambling, and angry speech reminiscent of President Nixon's resignation speech.

Obama, the FBI, and Hillary Clinton were on Trump's list of antagonists, but the media took the brunt of the disgraced president's ire as he spoke one last time as president from the White House bowling alley.

"CNN, Mother Jones, Politico--now that I'm a private citizen I'm going to be looking into suing the press--and that fake news outlet The Spoof and their little dog too. You know your ratings are going in the toilet since you won't have me to kick around anymore."

It's unclear what little dog Trump was referring to, but TV's Doctor Drew said Trump may be having a flashback from the movie the Wizard of OZ since crowds celebrating his departure have been singing "The Witch is Dead."

The spontaneous celebrations broke out worldwide as Trump was still giving his parting speech: in London's Parliament Square, tens of thousands celebrated Trump's fall and normally restrained judges donned Trump wigs in silent support of the crowds; in Washington DC the festive crowd was estimated in the hundreds of thousands; in Manhattan traffic was blocked for blocks around Trump Tower as jubilant crowds surrounded the building and jeered The Donald.

Mexico's celebrations of course were the largest with huge parties and parades in most cities. Mexico also sent waves of pregnant women with anchor babies to the US in anticipation of an improving economy.

Elected democrats were more reserved in their reactions, many cited the damage done to the institution of clowning and the US's standing with the rest of the world and her allies.

Senator Chuck Schumer took a somber tone as he spoke at a fundraiser for ethnic restaurants in California while declining to mention Trump by name.

"We see the damage this man has done to reality television and to Indian restaurants, and it's going to be a long slow recovery to get back to where we were before this aberration."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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