Canada Prepares For Migrant Influx After US Presidential Election

Funny story written by XRhonda Speaks

Monday, 14 March 2016

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US politics has become a scorched earth zone with all sides tolerating zero dissent. Underscoring the impassable political divide, a Quinnipiac study shows that fully twenty percent of people living in the US will flee the country after the 2016 Presidential election - regardless of who becomes president.

The prospect of tens of millions of US citizens swamping Canada's job market and healthcare system have sent shock-waves through the country.

Justin Trudeau, Canadian Prime Minister said, "We've always been friendly to the US, but like house guests who overwhelm their host with their needs, so too will Americans overwhelm our capacity till we cannot even meet the basic needs of our own citizens."

In contrast to Trudeau's humanitarian plea, right wing leader Mat Drearden of the Canadian Heritage Foundation was less subtle when he said, "The rich people aren't going to leave the US, and with no middle class in the US, it's just going to be poor people coming to Canada."

The poll cited says that fourty to fifty percent of Americans want to leave the country if their candidate loses, and this was regardless of candidate or party affiliation.

Savani Mentos who headed the research explains how they reached their conclusions: "After both George W. Bush and Obama each won their two presidential elections, two percent of the country actually did leave, though the impact of population loss was mitigated by the influx of immigrants, but the point here is that 5 percent said they would leave the country, while only about half of that number actually did leave." Backing up his numbers Mentos said, "So, with almost fifty percent of respondents saying they are leaving, we are pretty comfortable with a real figure of at least twenty percent emigrating after the 2016 elections.

Immigration has been one of the most divisive issues in the campaign. Ironically the US will be even more dependent on immigrant labor after 2016 as ninety two percent of those leaving after the election are of working age.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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