Written by queen mudder

Monday, 23 March 2015

image for Giant American aircraft carrier USS Trojan Horse arrives in UK, NCIS Special Agents rumored aboard
Rogue Russian submarine lurking in Scottish waters is broadcasting brainwashing subliminals to the SNP

Portsmouth - Special Agents Gibbs and DiNozzo reportedly snuck aboard taking the carrier's crew quota to 5,602 when news of the hush-hush deployment broke.

Their mission on the US Navy's fabled Big Stick remains classified Top Secret as the magnificent 1,092ft Nimitz-class vessel dropped anchor close to Portsmouth Harbour on the South Coast.

Its full complement of 90 fixed wing aircraft and choppers is primed to swoop anywhere at a moment's notice, something maybe of interest to pesky nationalist Scots.

This morning the Special Agents were seen checking out Portsmouth's notorious sailor-friendly flesh spots in readiness for 24 hours shore leave commencing tomorrow at dawn.

Gibbs and DiNozzo then headed to Scotland armed with some sort of sophisticated NCIS listening device.

It is rumored to be able to translate the roughest of Glaswegian regional accents into sure fire military intel, even after two dozen whiskies and a bong of gak.

Their target is detecting the whereabouts of a rogue Russian Federation submarine somewhere in Scottish waters that's broadcasting brainwashing subliminals to the Scottish Nationalist Party.

Nichola Sturgeon's IQ is less than 69.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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