Mall rat squad handling 20 incidents... per day

Funny story written by erikals1

Friday, 23 May 2014

The Queensland Police Anti-Twelvie Division is reportedly handling 20 incidents related to twelvies per day since the squad's inception.

So far, members of the squad have been deployed to malls in Brisbane, the Gold and Sunshine Coasts and other areas within Queensland.

Sergeant Bob Smith of the squad states: 'Most of the incidents we are deployed to involve groups of 2-3 twelvies, sometimes more. One incident this past week involved a group of 20 causing public transport issues around the railway station, and it wasn't easy to move them on.'

The squad has also made one notable arrest, that being the arrest of a twelvie (whose name cannot be reproduced due to their case pending before the courts) who was performing at a Christmas-themed event when squad members arrived.
Upon conferring with the disabled citizen who had phoned in the incident to police, the squad made the decision to charge the twelvie with talentlessness, being a public nuisance and being a twelvie in a public place.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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