Wedding Bells for Kenny Blankenship and "Olga from Volga"

Funny story written by Wumf

Wednesday, 26 February 2014


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Olga from Volga and teammate Valentina working on her wedding trousseau

SOCHI, RUSSIA - Despite threats from Russian police authorities to imprison the mysterious "Olga from Volga", one of the two female kidnappers of Kenny Blankenship and Vic Romano, she is headed down the aisle instead.

At a press conference today, the recently released Kenny Blankenship announced, "Olga and I are tying the knot in a ceremony at the Russian Orthodox Church in Sochi this weekend. Even though some people say our love is a result of propinquity and not real affection, Olga has truly won my heart!"

The infamous Olga has turned out to be no other than the famous woman weightlifter, Olga Topolski, who holds several major titles in her country. This has led to speculation that Kenny was manhandled into proposing marriage while kidnapped, but Kenny's friend, Vic, says otherwise.

"I saw the sparks fly the night the girls whisked us away to the dacha outside of Sochi. Kenny took one look at Olga's shoulders and biceps in that black strapless dress and he was a goner. He really admires female athleticism, as all the fans of Most Extreme Elimination Challenge know. I think they will be very happy together, even if she is a foot taller and outweighs him by a good 50 pounds!"

Sources close to the couple say Vic Romano will be the best man at the ceremony, and Olga's co-kidnapper, weightlifting team mate Valentina Grasmick, will be the maid of honor. The couple plans to honeymoon in Dubrovnik, the lovely Croatian city on the Adriatic Sea.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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