New Heavenly Angels Chorale performance will feature lyrics by Rogers and Clapper with additional soprano from Victoria Nuland

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 12 February 2014

image for New Heavenly Angels Chorale performance will feature lyrics by Rogers and Clapper with additional soprano from Victoria Nuland
A favorable response for the performance expected from Capitol Hill

Conducted by General Keith Alexander, Director of the NSA, the renowned Heavenly Angels Chorale--one hundred voices strong--is readying for a spring time fete with new operatic voices and special lyrics.

There have been rumors chorale members will appear on stage dressed entirely in white with angel wings and halo surrounding the upper torso and cranium of each performer.

However, a spokesperson for chorale member James Woolsey, former Director of Central Intelligence, has stated this last piece of information (halo and wings) is bogus and perhaps invented by an enemy of the current NSA administration.

Mr. Clapper's office indicates investigation on this last irreverence is proceeding with scrutiny into various metadata within the "hop" system of whoever's cell phone might fit such an outrage in creating this rumor in the first place.

His office has stated, "No one innocent should fear this quest unless there are indications in your background toward humor."

At that point another representative added, "Or, if you happen to be caught up in a hop through the metadata which, circumstantially, involves some kind of mass distribution--as with a Domino's pizza list. But that should not take up too much of your time or legal expense."

Meanwhile, some details of the lyrics have been slowly emerging on the theme of the "angelic" nature of current NSA surveillance in that a pseudo-mythological emphasis is emerging (also in the music).

That is, global surveillance has been ordained in the spirit of higher patriotism and J. Edgar Hoover to protect America and its allies in the struggle with terrorists.

Kept very close to Chorale administrative personnel, lyrics (according to expert insiders who insist on remaining anonymous) have mostly been penned through a Clapper-Rogers combined effort, with input from Peter King and Dick Cheney.

As specimens, calculated for a "soaring, sonorous, and rapturous effect"--

Global-wide we do thy service
Data, hops, and ever earnest
In your phone so very near
But quietly quietly never fear!


Never fear we're always near you
Watching closely at your ear so
Trust us when we comb the world
To find the likes of Glenn Greenwald!

Already considered a thrilling high point of the performance, sending "chills down spines," according to several observers, Victoria Nuland has a starring role in a stirring solo soprano with--

Ukraine and everywhere is our province
We pursue full spectrum dominance
We are right we always have been
So hold your nose control your spleen
Or you'll find F**k You
On your screen!

(This last softly, head bowed.)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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