Stricter Saint regulations as Pilgrim " blunders" uncovered.

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Sunday, 22 December 2013

image for Stricter Saint regulations as Pilgrim " blunders" uncovered.
More transparency needed

Several incidents involving dubious relics have led to the setting up of "Ofrelic" by the Vatican.

Recently a pilgrim who had queued for hours at the "Well of St. Patella" to cure knee ligament problems was fitted with a cheap ginger wig and sent home. The "Well" was later found to be one of a growing number of fake shrines and relics and demolished. Last month a woman had a cosmetic labial reduction at a so-called "Stone of Saint Vulva." Incantation were allegedly carried out without the use of incense.

A similar incident where a morbidly obese pilgrim who had hoped to be fitted with an ecclesiastical gastric band and became possessed with silly devils, resulted in the suspension of an obesity Cardinal. Now all Shrines and relics will be fitted with scannable inspection tags renewed at Easter each year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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