Egyptian Book of the Dead predicted Cairo massacres

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

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Egypt - An ancient Egyptian funerary text dating from around 1550 BC is credited with predicting the turmoil that has ravaged Cairo's civil war torn-streets.

According to archivists at Luxor's Grateful Dead Museum the Egyptian Book of the Dead was written in coded format to conceal data about the military coup which ousted the government of Mohammed Morsi and his Muslim Bruvverhood supporters.

Decryption of its packed chapters has already produced links to prophecies about the Suez Crisis, President Gamal Abdel Nasser's 1952 Egyptian Revolution which overthrew the monarchy of King Farouk I, the Six Day War and the 1981 assassination of Anwar Sadat.

Other predictions have been hard to confirm although Deadhead Jerry Garcia once blamed the book for starting a betting frenzy on Egypt winning the World Cup [1980], having the first man on the Moon [1961] and winning the Eurovision Song Contest in 1979.

Commenting on today's reports an Egyptologist at the International Council for the Study of conflict said 'WTF?' when quizzed by QM-NewsCorpse reporters.

Catch further updates of this fast-breaking story right here tonight.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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