30% of Brits Not Related to Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamun

Written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 2 August 2011

image for 30% of Brits Not Related to Egyptian Pharaoh Tutankhamun
50% of Euro males also related to The Sphinx

London - A major study of phylogenetic lineages (WTF? - Ed) has found that the legendary Egyptian Boy King didn't father 50% of European males, either.

The genetics survey published by Ancient Sperm Bank News magazine blames a mutant strain of West Nile Virus which interfered with King Tut's fertility.

"One tiny prick from an infected mosquito and wham!" the mag's editorial proclaimed today, "King Tut's testes swelled to the size of watermelons, boiling his gonads and effectively microwaving the Egyptian ruler's family jewels."

Tut had belonged to a genetic profile group known as haplogroup R1b1a2.

The hybrid strain descended on the distaff side from the Old Testament's bad girl Lillith who features so provocatively in the Egyptian Book of the Grateful Dead.

Another reference - in Qumran's Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls alleges Tut and OT prophet Elijah 'may have been the same person'.

His father Akhenaten and grandfather Amenhotep III 'may therefore have been Jewish'.

The news could cause ructions in the Vatican.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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