Discovery of New Mayan Calendar Updates Doomsday Prophesy

Written by Dontquotemenews

Friday, 15 February 2013

Archeologists have discovered a new Mayan calendar - the Beach Babes Bikini Edition - that provides a new, and more reliable, date for the end of the world: June, 2014.

Discovering the calendar also proves that the Mayan's much publicized prophesy that the world would end on December 21st, 2012, was based on an out-of-date calendar.

The new calendar was unearthed during the excavation of a Mayan palace deep in the jungles of Guatemala. Within the huge structure is the bedroom of a Mayan royal prince. While working in the room the archeologists found the prince's bed. The Beach Babes Bikini Calendar was tucked beneath the remains of the bed's straw mattress.

"It is incredibly well-preserved with intricate carvings of Mayan beach babes, the finest we've seen from the Mesoamerican civilization," said Dr. Pedro Digall, head of the scientific team that discovered the calendar. "Miss August 2000 will knock your socks off."

Since the last Babe on the calendar is Miss June 2014, this is thought to be the real date for the world's end. "She is dressed in a skimpy black bikini and a skull necklace, symbols of death," said Digall.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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