Liechtenstein In Running For UN Security Council Seat

Funny story written by Sidney Bollocks

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Liechtenstein In Running For UN Security Council Seat
Security Council seat? That will do nicely, sir.

Liechtenstein, the tiny and, until now, insignficant Principality, which is sandwiched between Austria and Switzerland, is a hot favourite in the race to be elected to a temporary a seat on the UN Security Council, ahead of Finland and Australia.

Liechtenstein, which has previously only been famous for tax fraud and its status as the world's largest manufacturer of false teeth, is, in the eyes of many commentators, an interesting choice for the vacant Security Council seat.

Tarquin Arbuthnot, a lecturer at the London based International Institute For The Study Of Dreary International Developments, told us "UN Security Council seats are usually occupied by major nations who exercise considerable military might, such as Russia, the US, China and, at one time, the UK. Somewhat surprisingly, Liechtenstein has not maintained a military force since 1868. In fact, the last time the Principality engaged in military conflict was in the Austro-Prussian war of 1866. This conflict lasted for all of seven weeks and was terminated early because Oktoberfest was fast approaching. Even during this short war, Liechtenstein fielded an Army of only eighty men, all of whom were a long way from any combat and simply kept the German troops supplied with br├Ątwurst and sauerkraut. Being a landlocked nation, the Principality has little maritime history, other than when the Irish Navy sent a submarine there for its first, and somewhat inconclusive, sea trials."

A spokesman for the current Prince of Liechtenstein told us, "It is all very well for large countries to mock us and belittle us. The world is changing and the UN has embraced this change. Conventional and nuclear conflicts are messy affairs, which stock markets and investors, generally speaking, do not like. In Liechtenstein, we have been secretly developing our own weapons programme, whilst everybody has been worrying about the Iranians. We are almost ready to show the world our WMFDs, or Weapons of Mass Financial Destruction. In future conflicts, there will be no invasions of countries. There will be no loss of life at all, in fact. We will simply set out to destroy each others banking systems. With this objective in mind we have developed a financial weapon which will make US sub-prime mortgages look almost as troublsome as Saddam Hussein's weapons of mass destruction".

A UN spokesman asked us, "Liechtenstein? Where in the fuck is that?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more