In breaking news, Julia Gillard the Australian Prime Minister has caused international furor by first refusing to curtsey to the Queen and then accidentally sitting on the Queen's face.
The face-sitting incident happened at a dinner for Her Maj in Canberra this evening. Ms Gillard faced the media this evening to explain.
"G'day. An unfortunate incident occurred this evening when we was havin' din dins with Her Majesty the Queen (nod, nod). As she went to take her seat at the table one of the Royal corgis ducked under the bloody table. Her Majesty knelt down to retrieve the little bugger and I accidentally sat down on her seat (nod, nod).
"The Queen got up and her crown snagged in me Karen Millen skirt and then her glasses hooked onto me g-string. It was very messy and it took Philip 5 minutes to separate us. Philip seemed to enjoy the little menage a trois we 'ad goin' but the corgis got the hump and pee'd on the table leg (nod, nod, nod)."
A Buckingham Palace spokesman said tonight the Queen was recovering from the event and has emerged with more insight into modern day Australia. Ms Gillard has apologised to her partner Tim for her faux pas and has promised to wear trousers next time.
