"Weiner Gate" Blows up; Congressman Denies He Used Penis Pump to Inflate Image on Social Site!

Funny story written by Morse

Tuesday, 31 May 2011


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Bris or no Bris, 'Weinergate' is growing!

The furor around the alleged claims that Democratic Anthony Wiener sent 'cloaked' penis pictures to a 21 year college student continue to swell, with the congressman today refuting claims appearing on his social networking site that he uses a penis pump to inflate his ego in order to appear bigger than life to 'friend' more people!

The charges have left the Left speechless, with only DNC chairperson Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (DWS) , apparently caught off guard while parking her 2010 $65,000 Japanese SUV, trying to defend the embattled whining Weenie. (sic)

DWS was in a hurry to attend a seminar on Green Energy and encourage Florida residents to meet Obama's demand that the US have 1M Hybrid Cars on the road by 2020. To date the Chevy Volt has sold 1700, the Nissan Leaf 1100, while reports claim 47% have either suffered electric shocks , had their garage burn down during refueling, or froze to death in Minnesota during a white out when they ran out of power after buying Obama pledging "A Charge You Can Believe In!"

"I don't think it was his XXXXX (redacted)", she blurted, "I know Mr. Wiener personally, and I've never known him to show such emotion, God knows I've tried," said the kinky haired Florida congresswoman who has been known to out gaffe even Joe Biden.

Last week she said she was proud to be a Jewish congress woman representing Florida, while stating she ' thought President Obama was probably Pro-Israel, at least I think so, and with the election coming up I hope so....at least for my sake...S***t, did I just F***myself on live TV?"

Some critics of Obama's choice to lead the DNC said that DWS even makes Howard Dean look like Gandhi.

"Golda Meir she ain't," said Miami Beach Bagel entrepreneur Saul Epstein as he grimaced over her latest appearance on local TV. "My first wife was like that, yap, yap yap, and when she wasn't yapping she was playing mahjong. And you gentiles wonder why we're always chasing Skicksas and exposing ourselves on dating sites...it's because we don't want to get any at home...can you blame us? Oy Vey!"

At the Oscar Meyer Weiner Mobile, currently touring South Beach during "Urban Warfare Week', Joel Nussbaum was beyond pissed.

"That Putz is giving my business a bad name," he said,"I still vote in NY as well as here, and Weiner is cooked in 2012! "

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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