Schwarzenegger Chooses the Tiger Woods Gambit

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Friday, 20 May 2011


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image for Schwarzenegger Chooses the Tiger Woods Gambit
"Yaa. Maybe I go owt of da country for a while, hang out with girlie men"

Following heated and continuous press coverage over his "love child" news and Maria Shriver's adamant statements opposed to any reconciliation, Arnold Schwarzenegger will be disappearing from the public eye for a while in a clear, Tiger Woods - post skanky ho scandal - disappear from the limelight and return later, strategy.

Insiders to the Schwarzenegger camp indicate that Arnold hasn't completely given up hope for a life in Hollywood or in politics, but recognize that he isn't really a bankable commodity with all the recent negative press. "I'll admit, he does look like a bit of a slimeball these days", says close friend and confidant, Rusty Steele, "but I think if he disappears for a while like Tiger or Mel Gibson did, all will be forgiven and maybe even forgotten".

Referencing the fact that Tiger eventually returned to the PGA Tour and Gibson eventually returned to Hollywood, Schwarzenegger and his personal team feel that he can make a comeback as well. "Maybe in 2020", says Steele. "I mean, have you seen Tiger's latest performance or Gibson's last movie? Two words. Rancid stinkfest. Arnie will need to stay away a bit longer, find God, come back, beg for forgiveness, and we're golden."

Others close to Schwarzenegger say that a run for the Presidency isn't out of the question either, despite requirements for being born as a U.S. resident. Steele added, "Hey, Obama did it. So can we".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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