US will allow North Korea to have Diet Coke-Coka Reactor in exchange for their heavy water supplies

Funny story written by Noddy Bigears

Wednesday, 21 September 2005

U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said in an interview in New York on Tuesday "It is worth discussing the provision of a Diet Coke-Coka reactor to North Korea in the future." North Korea is expected in exchange to supply the US with all its heavy water supplies for the forthcoming NASA moon project.

The joint statement from the six parties involved in the talks released by the participants from the two Koreas, the U.S., host China, Russia and Japan agreed to discuss "at a suitable time the provision of a diet Coke-Coka reactor to North Korea."

However, the DPRK which is short for the North's official name, the Democratic People's Republic of Korea started also to request that the other participants in the talks will also pay for an ice cube machine with sufficient capacity to produce 20 megatons of light water ice annually as well as the Diet Coke-Coka reactor with a 60 megatons capacity. The other participants are not eager to pay the full wack.

NASA flew a series of missions to the Moon more than 30 years ago as part of its Apollo program. The project was cancelled in 1972 after just six lunar landings due to the lack of natural heavy water availability in North America. The North Korean heavy water supplies are needed to boast the new launcher that will be powered by a rocket burning heavy water and oxygen for the first stage of the take off. Once into orbit and many days later, the astronauts launch on a separate light water rocket system with their Crew Exploration Vehicle (CEV) and eventually return to earth. The cost is roughly equivalent to the GDP of Canada for the next 34 years.

North Korea has the World's largest and indeed, virtually all the natural supplies of heavy water, hence defining its very close relationship with China yet also creating the chaotic diplomatic relationship with the international community with intense jealousy and hated. North Korea's latest press release today confirms the dilemma as they state "We fear that the US or other powers would even use nuclear weapons to facilitate their needs for our heavy water supplies, indeed, we feel threatened with a preemptive strike just as we have started to negotiate for a diet Coke-Coka reactor."

The IAEA (international atomic energy agency) spokesman, Ivor Spinksky, explained what was so special about North Korea's natural heavy water capability "Naturally occurring heavy water takes millions of years to collect in underground reservoirs and gradually separate from light water and normal standard grade water.

Hence, the North Korean extensive natural reserves deep underground are the envy of the World." He added, "Just think that 350,000 US Special Forces could not find just one drop of heavy water after searching all of Iraq, maybe lost in the sand, that's why the North Koreans are so special for the next stage of the US NASA water space exploration project." He concluded "It is a shame that some of the Western Nations were so careless with their own limited supplies, for example a computer error released the United States entire reserves collected over decades into the sea off 3 Mile Island and a British Nuclear Power inspector accidentally opened the wrong tap releasing virtually all of Northern Europe's reserves into the Irish sea leading to contamination of the Atlantic Gulf stream although it did make some fish bigger but they had sometimes wobbly eyes and huge noses."

Meanwhile, it is expected that North Korea's chief negotiator Kim Gye Gwan, head of the thousands hungry center will be congratulated at the close of talks held at the Diaoyutai State Guesthouse in Beijing, China, for at least trying to share his nation's natural reserves of heavy water with the Western powers in exchange for a Coke-Coka reactor despite the US aggressive stance.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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