Written by Charpa93

Monday, 3 January 2011

image for Arkansas Pastor Hopes to Update Living Bible with "Book of Clem"
If Clem has his way, this book will gain another 1/4 inch in volume.

An enterprising clergyman from Little Rock, Arkansas is currently working on the first ever major revision of the Living Bible in order to include the "Book of Clem" to secure a record of the recent inexplicable events which have left the State of Arkansas in a state of shock. The author hopes to get the book approved for inclusion in the Living Bible by its publisher, although a deal to do so has not yet been finalized.

While the tornados that struck the state on New Year's Eve aren't really all that out of the ordinary for that part of the country, the following days of dead birds and fishes, not to mention last year's deadly flash flood, has led some to believe that Arkansas is experiencing plagues of Biblical proportions and, because of this, has earned it a spot in the best-selling book of all time.

The "Book of Clem" is being written by the Reverend Clem la Peste, pastor at the Holy Christ Center of Little Rock. La Peste claims that there have never been this many plagues suffered in one geological area within days of each other since Biblical times. "If these ain't the end times," said Rev. Clem, as he is known to his flock, "then I don't know what is. This ain't just Ma Nature throwin' a hissy fit. The events of this past year rival those found in the books of Genesis and Exodus, and a few others that I just can't recollect at the moment.

While most of Rev. Clem's followers agree that the unusual events are most definitely something worthy of their own book in the Bible, they aren't sure if the "Book of Clem" should be included in the historical section of the Old Testament or the prophetic section of the New Testament.

Clem says "It depends. We may just want to spend a few bucks on getting our future told by Madame Serena down the street. If she tells us we're in for some more of the same like fire or frogs raining from the sky, or God forbid, another four years of Obama, then we may just want to place the "Book of Clem" directly after Revelations."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Bible, Arkansas, plague

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