Actor and conservative former Tennessee senator, Fred Thompson, is shriveling up and turning into a raisin, according to his physician.
"To be fair, we are not one-hundred percent certain if he is turning into a raisin or a craisin -- the cranberry/raisin variant of a raisin," said Herr Doktor. "It is really too soon to tell. But his condition is serious. And highly contagious."
Thompson once played the part of Arthur Branch, a Manhattan District Attorney, on the TV show "Law & Order". In May 2007 he quit the series to focus instead on running for the Presidency of the United States.
A close friend of the 68-year-old Thompson had this to say: "If anyone can beat this thing, it's Fred. He's as tough as nails... He's as strong as an ox... He's a pillar of strength... He's full of vim and vigour... He also happens to resemble a sack of dried fruit, but we are hopeful that the physical therapy will improve him."
