THE GREEN ZONE, Baghdad - "We never unlock the impenetrable barrier of the International Security Zone for non-mission vehicles," explained Col. Juan Fithriter, head of U.S. security. "But yesterday, when the boys and I saw this beauty standing outside the gates, we knew this was a gift we were keeping."
The gift is a remarkable thirty-foot-tall statue of a horse, made entirely from heavy wooden planks. Carved Arabic inscriptions indicate it was created by a local group of Al Qaeda operatives.
"So, we opened the gates and rolled it right up to the U.S. embassy," shouted Fithriter, patting the underside of the hollow structure. "And look at this construction! These walls are tough as an armored personnel carrier!"
Col. Fithriter continued in a more somber tone, "You may not be aware that the cavalry horse is the ancient symbol of war. It is a proper gift for one warrior to give to another. I believe this work of art is a gift from Iraq's armed guerillas, as if they are finally conceding that America earned victory fairly and honorably.
"I think this giant wooden horse means we've finally won the hearts and minds of the insurgents."