Long Beach, California - Reports are still sketchy at this point but it appears that an intersection in the city of Long Beach, California, was last night terrorised by a gang of zombies, allegedly led by deceased performer Michael Jackson.
The incident occurred at the intersection of Pine Avenue and West Broadway in the city late last night. Patrons of Smooth's Sports Grille, King's Fish House, Starbucks and a 7-eleven cowered as the street outside became flooded with zombies, and many insist that Michael Jackson was the ringleader.
"Everything was normal," Walt Slipknot, a bartender at Smooth's Sports Grille told us. "Then suddenly all these zombies appeared out of nowhere and started dancing around the intersection. I saw Jacko there - I swear it was him - he had that wishbone nose and that red leather jacket, and he was grabbing his crotch and yelping like a scalded puppy. My customers just hid under the tables until they'd gone."
Homeless man, Eduardo De LasCruces, who was buying a pack of cigarettes in a nearby 7-eleven store described how he shat in his pants when the zombies swarmed the intersection, then admitted that he may have actually shat his pants a day or two previously.
In the aftermath of the incident, the zombies and Michael Jackson's corpse melted away into the night, much to the relief of onlookers, but the aftermath wasn't pretty.
Sanitation worker, Barney Grubble who was on the clean up crew early this morning told us:
"It was pretty disgusting. I don't know what the hell they'd been doing over there on Pine and West Broadway, but there was noses, chins, scalps, innards and all kinds of crap laying around on the street. We ain't seen nothin' like it down here since a local photographer took an upskirt shot of Lady Gaga and put a poster sized print in his office window. That little stunt regurgitated a few lunches, I'll tell ya. But all these noses and chins and ears and stuff is almost as bad."
More as we get it.
