Written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 16 October 2010

image for Rapper T.I. Not Eligible For Lindsay Lohan Parole Exception, Jailed.
ABOVE: Rapper T.I., extreme close-up

A federal judge shoved third-tier rapper T.I. (real name Thurston Howell, IV) back to prison for 11 months for violating his probation with a drug arrest Friday.

The jailing came immediately after the Court denied his Lindsay Lohan exception Motion, finding that he was not eligible.

"While defendant accurately states that the Lohan Exception Rule does allow for famous convicted felons to have their bail continued after a probation violation," said the court in its opinion. "Rapper I.T. (sic) is not eligible under Lohan.

"The defense dropped the ball on this one," said Nancy Grace, some hideous shrew who claims to once be a lawyer. "In addition to being famous, a defendant has to be white, and attractive. T.I. is neither.

Paris Hilton was blowing rails on the dashboard of a Mercedes when she was arrested," screamed T.I.'s attorney, Ira Fishbaum, after the ruling. "We be gonna file an appeal up in this piece, maf--ker."

T.I. was caught with drugs when arrested two days ago. The drugs, an Advil and 3 Skittles, were taken from the rapper, and he was tazed 3 times.

"Get white, get cute, or get out of California," said the Judge. "But if you plan on walking around all... you know --black, and all-- be prepared to go to jail."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Rap




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