Police were called to Glenn Beck's house last night. Beck was found laying on his back. He was bleeding from his face, nose and sported two black eyes. He had a dismembered arm and both legs were fractured. There were also bite marks visible around his arms.
That night on Fox, Sean Hannity speculated that Obama or one of his Islamic friends were behind this horrible crime.
The next day doctors reported that Glen Becks' injuries were self inflicted. A few of the voices that Beck listens to got into a heated argument and instructed Glenn to mangle himself. The doctors found Becks own flesh under his nails and the bite marks on his body matched his teeth. One of Glen's pots had dry blood and hair attached to it. Apparently he was instructed to bang himself on the head. His finger prints were found on the pot handle.
A psychiatrist who examined Beck while he was hypnotized said the following. "This man is crazy." "There are over fifty voices in his head. And last night a simple argument over some survival seeds turned into a riot."
According to some of the voices who spoke to the psychiatrist on condition of anonymity. The Great kazoo, the little,green alien who was send to earth as punishment for having invented a Doomsday machine weapon started the fight. The doctors believe that this Kazoo character is the one telling Glenn that the world is going to end.