Written by Nick Hobbs

Monday, 30 August 2010

image for Hog Jaw, Arkansas Suffers Devestation At The Hands Of Obama
Yeah, smoke me some Grits, Ha Ha Ha!!!

Lenny Grits, local govenor of Hog Jaw, Arkansas, is said to be 'really p*ssed' at President Obama, and his whole administration.

President Obama decided last week to pay a visit to the small backwoods town, to see what all the recent fuss was about.

Hog Jaw was thrust into the headlines these past weeks after an international news agency focused its attention on the small community, making it an instant online hit.

Curious to see what was going on, Obama and several top line governmental aides, took a flight in Air Force One to personally visit Hog Jaw.

"Well, we got tha call at about midday," Kenny Butts told us, local air traffic controller at the Hog Jaw airfield, "we kinda made sum preperayshuns, and just wayted for tha air-o-plane! O'course, when it arrived, we didn't expect it ta be so big!"

Air Force One is considerably larger than the usual single engined Cessna light aircraft that visit the short, dirt runway of the airfield.

"Well she came in fer her approach and as she dropped outta tha clowds, well we saw she was never gonna make it!" Kenny continued, "but it were too late an' all, we hollered at them to pull up, but they were all yelling back at me that it was too late!"

Air Force One touched down, but even with thrusters on full reverse, the 100 foot runway was never going to be big enough.

"Ma's Soda Parlour bought it first, followed by Jed's Tackle and Bait," said Govenor Grits, "The Palm Lounge, Gordo's Motel and Spa and Chuck's Autoshop and Cycle Emporium all suffered severe damage. Chuck's especially. It looks as though we may have to demolish it, such a shame, specially after he's just got back on track after the racoon infestation, last year!"

In all over $183 worth of damage were sustained in the accident. Air Force One sustained a small scratch on the undercarriage.

"A bit of T-cut will fix that," said an aide to the President, "luckily all the buildings were wood and chicken wire, so damage to the aircraft was minimal."

Govenor Grits was not so pleased. "He came here with no warning and has put our communities livelihoods in jeopardy! I just thank the Lord they didn't take out Jerk's, the local bar! Folk's woulda been better off dead!"

The abbatoir was also unscathed in the accident, although Mo's Farm, famous for supplying chickens to the local area, will now be supplying fried chicken to the local area.

No official statement or apology has been put forward by the Obama administration.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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