The House of Representatives ethics committee has passed a new set of Republican backed rules which reduce the Ten Commandments down to nine "suggestions". The new rules drop the eighth commandment, which prohibits stealing. A congressman is permitted to steal as long as the theft is consistent with his duties as a public official. These exceptions include stealing in the service of getting re-elected, maintaining a lavish lifestyle, or just a short term need for cash. The new rules were passed to protect Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who has been accused of misusing funds obtained from lobbyists and other shady characters.
The new rules are the result of a lengthy debate on how ethical the ethics rules should really be. Several congressmen wanted to drop other commandments including the seventh (no adultery), ninth (don't lie), and tenth (don't covet your opponent's fundraising apparatus). There was no consideration of rules against hypocrisy, grandstanding, or being an annoying windbag.
There were no ethics rules changes regarding murder, which apparently is still frowned on.
Part of the compromise discards the term "commandments" so there is room for the standard ethical lapses necessary to conduct business in Washington. As one Representative said, "Even though my job is to lecture the public on how important religious morality is, my own behavior is nobody else's business."
DeLay insists he has not had any ethical lapses, except for a few weekends in Las Vegas which he refuses to discuss. He claims his foreign junkets, which were paid for by lobbyists, were all for the benefit of his Texas constituents. "Demonizing judges and selling influence is incredibly hard work," said DeLay spokesman Dan Allen. "He saves the public money by getting sleazy lobbyists to pay for his two weeks at the beach."
DeLay also denied he supports legislation from whichever lobbyist gives him the most money. "That's simply not true," said spokesman Allen. "Sometimes we support legislation from folks that have very little money, especially if they tell great jokes or have access to really good hookers."
DeLay and other members continue to support posting the original Ten Commandments in public schools. "This right and wrong stuff can get very complicated, so we need to get our kids started early," said DeLay.
