Written by Noddy Bigears

Tuesday, 26 April 2005

The US Administration has reacted furiously to the Italian Government announcement that it has cleared the Italian hit men killers of John F. Kennedy. The men who have been in hiding for over the last 40 years in Sicily have been given a full pardon and will now be entitled to a full state pension as well as compensation for lost earnings.

What went wrong with Berlusconi's Government and the break down of his coalition that the last Italian Senate vote could make such a serious diplomatic mistake? What were the behind the scenes politics and manipulating that could have caused such disaster and confusion? Why was it not possible to know the truth before?

Journalist Giuliana Sgrena, who is a veteran war correspondent for the communist newspaper Il Manifesto, said the US reaction was very very disappointing and worse than she had expected, given the Americans had initially called the shooting an accident. However, she added as she told TG3 television "Now they're not even talking about an accident, at least according to the reports, but it seems they want to lay all the blame on the Italians."

John F. Kennedy's assassination was the most controversial case in modern American history. Did one hit man kill him, were the mob involved or even the communists and if it was a conspiracy, did it include Italian hit men or was it really an accident? Most Americans believed that a conspiracy killed Kennedy. And most Americans had heard a vast number of bogus information stories about the history of the case. Now the Italian Government has released the full facts it would appear the case is closed.

The Italian agent, Nicola Calipari, was killed when U.S. troops in Iraq opened fire on his car at a check point without warning whilst he was trying to save communist journalist Giuliana Sgrena. It appears that President Bush ordered the killing personally after the Italian Government vote cleared John F. Kennedy's killers. He had announced at the press office "that this was a slap in the face for the Italian Government" and added "they should not have been hiding the truth all these years."

Unfortunately for the sad widow, the wife of Nicola Calipari can only quote Jackie Kennedy's words at the time of her husbands' assassination "He didn't even have the satisfaction of being killed for civil rights . . . . It's - it had to be for some silly little Communist."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more