Wikileaks today published all 92,000 names and addresses that have been withheld by request by Penthouse Forum since the column began appearing in Penthouse Magazine in 1965. The publication has shocked a world that assumed that all Penthouse Forum stories were works of fiction. The "Penthousegon Papers," as the mainstream press has dubbed them, reveal a free love subculture involving society's most attractive women and it's most revolting men. A press conference to explain the leak was held by Julian Assange, the journalist and director of Wikileaks, not the gay porn star.
At the press conference Assange, after explaining to the smirking reporters that Assange really is his last name, explained that there are overriding reasons for publishing the decades-old confidential database. "For generations American males, especially teenagers, have devoured Penthouse Forum stories while simultaneously dismissing them as the fictional work of a small stable of Penthouse writers. In the interest of fairness to the American public it needs to be revealed that there really are men just like you--short, tall, fat, skinny, ugly, doughy, bald, just plain unattractive--having mind blowing, casual, anonymous, consequence-free sex with gorgeous, well-proportioned women ages 18-28."
Austrialian-born Assange, who became visibly annoyed when each questioner insisted he spell his last name for them and then snickered when he did so, continued, "Wikileaks hopes that the database's publication will lead to a world where men aren't afraid to have their names and addresses published in pornographic magazines. And more, that these men might learn the first and also even the last names of the women they fornicate with in sexual encounters so transcendent, they must be recorded in graphic detail and shared with millions."
Cutting the press conference short an exasperated Assange told the by now guffawing group of journalists, "I'll withhold all requests for interviews if one more person asks me if I'm the Julian Assange who appeared in 'The Cuntagon Papers.'"
