Lovely Kayla Martell, of Milford, Delaware, is not afraid to show off the dome.
At ten years-old, Martell was diagnosed with alopecia areata, a condition thought to be an autoimmune disorder, in which the body attacks its own hair follicles and suppresses or stops hair growth. By the time Kayla was 18, she had lost all of her hair.
This didn't stop her from pursuing the dream she'd had since 4 years of age: To become Miss America.
"For me, I was just very confident in myself because of the great family and friends that I have," said Kayla. "And, you know, I think I was a better person because of the faith that I had. It didn't make me nervous to go out without a wig for any reason," Kayla said.
Unfortunately for Kayla and her fans, she is a gigantic two-faced sellout.
"This woman is an absolute hypocrite," said a spokesperson for the National Alopecia Areata Foundation, a support organization. "I'd like to cure her, just so I can kick her out of the club."
-noun.
1. a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.
2. a person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or public behavior belie his or her public statements
Martell competed for Miss Delaware 5 years in a row. For the first three, she competed without a wig, finishing between 7th and 14th place. In year 4, Kayla slapped some auburn hair on and came in second place. This year, Martell posed with a blonde wig... and won it all. She'll now compete as Miss Delaware in the 2010 Miss America Pageant, that flamingly anachronistic bastion of women-as-attractive-chattel that disgraces us all.
Will Kayla sell out for the national spotlight? What do you think?
"I was told by pageant officials that I can compete either way," Martell said. "I still haven't decided yet."
"Give me a f--king break," said the NAAF spokesperson. "It's like saying, 'I have a Porsche in my driveway with a full tank of gas, but I may take the bus to work.' If she was so intent to identify herself with the plight of Alopecia sufferers, she wouldn't have topped off with that blonde hair-helmet before becoming Miss Delaware."
"It's like saying Franklin Delano Roosevelt championed the cause for Polio every time he had an aide hold him upright when in public.*"
"If he really, really wanted to help those with Polio feel better about themselves, he wouldn't have treated his condition like a dirty secret. He wouldn't have sent the message that Polio sufferers should pretend to be able-bodied."
"And he wouldn't have been ashamed," Ware fumed. "How the hell is Kayla Martell wearing a wig any different?"
"My dream is to change someones life one day," Martell's blog reads. "I share my story to bring awareness to Alopecia Areata, which I have had since 1999. And I am working to become Miss America one day, because I know in my heart that every girl is a beauty queen, whether she has hair, or not!"
"Please, don't self-identify as a person without hair, and don't tell me I need to embrace my baldness while your wearing the type of hair we both wish we had."
* FDR was paralyzed from the waist down, ostensibly from Polio. In fact, Roosevelt convinced the country that was not paralyzed, which he thought was essential if he was to run for public office again," Dr. Ware sneered. "He wore leg braces, and he appeared in public standing up, supported by an aide or one of his sons. FDR made sure that he was never photographed in his wheelchair.
