Rastafarian Rats Raid Reno

Funny story written by C. Cranium

Friday, 6 August 2010

image for Rastafarian Rats Raid Reno
Rasta rodents run through Casino.

Sparks, Nevada. Locals always wondered what the Revlon employees did at the factory building next to the old Harrah's Auto collection museum. The building has no windows and the employees, friendly enough, always said they were under contract not to reveal the goings on in the building.

Revlon moved the work to India two years ago and the story has slowly unfolded at the speed of rat gestation. Revlon used the facility for hair care cosmetics research and development. The R & D inner workings have now become known through the lab rats that have escaped. These lab rats are unique in that they sport long black curly hair that was obviously used to mimic ethnic hair for cosmetic research. The long black curly hair becomes matted in the wild and the rats appear to have dread locks. Thus the name coined for them is 'Rastafarian Rats'.

Dozens of rats escaped two years ago and now thousands inhabit the Reno area. These are domesticated lab rats and are relatively harmless, but at the same time they love pasta and routinely raid Italian restaurants - in and out in seconds with fresh fettuccini or whatever. Rather bold in their wanderings the rats have been seen scurrying through casinos while patrons have their eyes locked on slot machines.

Other sightings have entertained or enraged tourists and locals alike. Bill Cosby joked about a well coiffed rat as it rocketed across the stage at his Mirage Casino Comedy Show, "I think I just saw Bob Marley?". Stagehands, unseen by the audience, chased the rat but were unable to catch him before he dashed out the back door.

Animal Control has managed to catch a few of the rats but many remain at large. The animals that are caught are being cleaned up, given vaccinations, and given away as pets. Revlon has donated funds for the catch and has agreed to take one hundred captured rats in Mumbai, India.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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