Copper Stills and Mash Making Comeback

Funny story written by Charpa93

Monday, 19 July 2010

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No, that isn't a play on the name of one of the best-known folk rock groups of all time, Crosby, Stills and Nash, and sometimes Young. It is, instead, a crafty title for this little story about how a whole new generation of moonshine makers is keeping law enforcement officials hopping across America.

Young twenty-something entrepreneurs are discovering the joy of making their own moonshine, and they are coming up with some really unique ideas for the stuff. Brand new copper stills can be bought over the internet, and they come with complete instructions on how to whip up a batch of "white dog," as it is now commonly referred to, safely and quickly, unlike back in the day when stills blew up and the liquid being produced was said to cause blindness in many who drank it.

From bathtubs in trendy NY SoHo lofts to kitchens in the mansions of young Los Angeles socialites, a new "hillbilly" is emerging to make their own brand of brandy and other spirits. From Vanity Vodka to Ritzy Rum, the ATF has its hands full trying to track down the scofflaws and bring them to justice.

One would immediately think the reason for the crackdown is to protect not only of the lives of the people who are making the stuff but also the lives of those who live close by in case of an explosion of the designer stills. It's not. These stills are being sought out and taken down for one reason only, because the privately distilled liquor is being sold and consumed on the black market circumventing the United States tax system. The designer distillers are cheating the IRS out of millions of dollars in tax revenues.

Damn, those evil revenuers. Here we go again.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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