A horde of tourists on Mt. Desert Island, Maine, were disappointed to learn today that Acadia National Park would be closed for three days to accommodate a visit by the Obama family and their dog Bo, the Portuguese water spaniel.
Acadia, featuring some of the most breathtaking scenery on the east coast
sports awe inspiring cliffs, thundering waves, hordes of sea birds, sun bathing seals, migrating whales and is host to thousands of hikers, bikers and tourists on any given day during the short tourist season.
Comprising over 33,000 acres, 1/3 of which was donated by a CAPITALIST, John D. Rockefellar, Jr, it also includes over 57 miles of carriage roads built by the philanthropist for bikes, horseback riders, hikers and horse drawn carriages .
Park officials said that season long passes would not be honored, and that all Park Service workers including tour guides, toll takers, vendors, and security would be forced to take a day off without pay due to security concerns.
Estimated revenue loss from the park closure has been set at about $1.2 million for the 3 day junket, not including the loss of revenue expected in surrounding towns Bar Harbor, Northeast Harbor and Trenton due to further security measures which could cost small business $5M as shop owners have been told they would be better off closing down for the day.
Most of the Park staff were taken to Sand Beach and given rakes and plastic bags in order to insure that the beach, enjoyed by thousands on a normal hot sultry New England day, was in pristine condition for the First Family and clear of debris so Bo could fetch a few tennis balls from the 58 degree water.
Up at Thunderhole, a tidal rock formation where the waves pound in causing a 'thunderous' roar of exploding water, union plumbers and electricians were installing a state of the art jet pump to insure there would be something for the Obamas to have a photo op of in case mother nature didn't cooperate leaving the seas calm between the normal 11-14 foot tide changes.
Along the scenic ocean drive around the park, several moose, after being tranquilized, have been staked out on tethers along with an abundance of
fodder and enough drinking water to allow them to survive the 3 day ordeal, unless the coyotes get them first.
It is expected that Obama will be the first to break the tradition of not having any motorized vehicles on the carriage road, as a motorcade of at least 34 armored limousines will take a leisurely tour on the scenic route through the pristine wilderness that hasn't been subject to exhaust emissions since 1915 when the road construction was started.
A limited staff has been told to 'stand by' at the Jordan Pond house on the shore of Eagle Lake to cater to the Obamas should they deem to drop in for late afternoon tea. The historic spot, built in 1870, is noted for it's gentile charm , gracious manicured lawn setting and famous wild blueberry muffins.
According to staff members Michelle has let it be known that 'desert is not a right', and depending on how 'the kids' behave, she can't guarantee that they will be allowed to have one of the muffins hot out of the oven.
Michelle has let it be known however, that some "barbecued ribs, chicken and some collards' would be appropriate should the family feel the need for a 'little snack to combat boredom."
Press Secretary Robert Gibbs has told a pool of press that there may be a
'photo op' at the top of Cadillac Mountain, where Obama is said to be keen to drive a golf ball from it's peak to see if he can reach Frenchman's Bay, or at least downtown Bar Harbor.
The White House has announced that the Obamas will continue their summer of endless vacation by returning to Martha's Vineyard for August to the same 21 acre ocean front estate they partied in last year along with a bunch of REAL RICH WHITE LIBERAL DEMOCRATS.
The announcement prompted local Mainer Willard 'Snuffy' Crowell to remark whimsically, "ever wonder why Obama don't spread the wealth around by visiting Philadelphia, Oakland, Detroit and Gary, Indiana....I'd think he'd want to go where he wouldn't stand out so much, unless he just loves screwing with us white folks ruining our livelihood, interfering with our vacations and some such. This CHANGE thing sure is looking more an more like PAYBACK to me...but what do I know, I voted for Ross Perot!"
