"The Gooch" Charged With Murder of Gary Coleman

Funny story written by anthonyrosania

Saturday, 29 May 2010

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Wife: "It's, like, this big? How could I?"

Police in Utah have announced that they are holding The Gooch in connection with the sudden, yet somehow merciful death of former miniature train-wreck Gary Coleman.

Coleman, 42, died Friday at a Utah hospital from a brain hemorrhage initially believed to have been caused by a fall. Doctors soon became suspicious, however.

"The guy's head was two feet off the ground," said Utah Dr. Donald Osmond. "How far could he have fallen?

Police then began investigating known enemies, and found that The Gooch, 45, and Coleman had been feuding since 1979.

"He sent his brother after me," said Gooch, after rewatching his episode of Diff'rent Strokes on Youtube. "He told me Gary knew karate and could beat me up."

"In retrospect, I could have just put my hand on his forehead to keep him from hitting me."

The Gooch will be formally charged with first degree Murder on Monday.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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