Navy Lifts Ban On Sex Toys On Subs: Women Will Now Share "Hot Bunks" With Men

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 3 May 2010

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Is The Head Vacant? I Have To Go

Defense Secretary Robert Gates announced that the Navy intends to lift the ban on sex toys on our submarine fleet. Starting in 1994, women sailors were granted permission to serve on surface ships in the United States Navy.

Initially this arrangement was met with scepticism by old salts who thought that having walking sex toys on board during a six to nine month deployment might be too much for the horny young sailors blessed with high testosterone levels.

Even though provided separate berthing areas and showers, the young women were able to find ways to become pregnant. Although the distaff sailors were advised that vaginal sex can lead to pregnancy, they evidently were a hosing and a blowsing on the high seas, with some ships having in excess of a 20% pregnancy rate. In contrast, there was a much lower rate among lesbians.

With space much more limited on a submarine, only women of officer rank will be allowed to rub genitals with the men in the close passageways of the submarines that spend up to six months under the sea. God Bless America!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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