Ann Coulter's New Sexy Telephone Service 'Dial-A-Skank' An Instant Success!

Written by rfreed

Monday, 19 April 2010

image for Ann Coulter's New Sexy Telephone Service 'Dial-A-Skank' An Instant Success!
Nancy in happier moment before the witch trial.

Extreme Right wingnut Ann Coulter new telephone 'Dial-A Skank' business venture began its services yesterday. Offering 24 hour titillation to the lusty imaginations of millions of potential far right callers, the phone lines are already going non-stop.

The new call in service offers Ms. Coulter's own brand of acid, Kama Sutral, liberal bashing delight to her supporters as she explores the forbidden libido of desire that lurks in the dark recesses of many arch conservative minds.

Anne's own breathy voice delivers the sexy, steamy innuendo as evidenced in this outtake:

"I have Micheal Moore tied spread eagle on a bed face down. I am pulling down his pants, slowly exposing his ample hiney. I strip the belt out of his pants, then bring it slashing down upon the monumental exposed flesh. As he screams out in pain I say "Tell Mommy that you have been a bad liberal! Tell me!" I then lash ever widening arcs upon his bottom."

Coulter also includes phone spots from other famous conservative media demigods such as Glenn Beck- "I have Nancy Pelosi tied to a 17th century witches dunking stool stripped down to her bra and panties. I am making her read aloud Ronald Reagan's autobiography. Anytime she mispronounces a word I dunk her in the water and haul her out. Her white, tender flesh has goose bumps all over it from the cold and the excitement. Actually, so do I!"

Sean Hannity has his input too- "I have Al Gore straddled across my lap with his pants pulled down. I raise my paddle and as I bring it down upon his quivering, expectant buttocks I say "Tell me about global warming! Tell me about the polar bears dying! I want to hear it again." (It was noticed that Mr. Hannity seems to get a little too much pleasure out of his performance and his beady eyes and insinuating smile are more beady and insinuating than usual.)

But it is Anne herself who keeps things going with her genuine sexy, fascist attitudes and repugnance for all things even remotely leftist- "I have Bill Clinton chained up spread out naked upon a bear skin rug in front of a roaring fire. I take out a cigar, sniff it's robust aroma, and then…."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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