Zac Efron Beats Joe Jonas by Eight Seconds

Written by Cuteygirl94

Monday, 22 February 2010


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You're dumped.

Zac Efron has beaten Joe Jonas's record for the shortest amount of time taken to dump a girl over the phone.

The star was said to be extremely jealous of the attention Jonas was getting when he dumped Taylor Swift over a 25 second phone call.

A source who told me he is a close friend of Efron (but smelled pretty bad) told me, "When Zac heard about it he was reeling. 'Since when does it take 25 seconds to say F**k off. I'm done with you? Joe should be ashamed. I could have done it quicker. To be honest, I can't believe the media is all over this s**t."

Determined to outdo his rockstar acquaintance, Zac is said to have called his girlfriend of four years Vanessa Hudgens to declare his desire to end their relationship. The phone call lasted 17.2 seconds and came to an abrupt end when Vanessa Hudgens announced that, since he was breaking up with her, she would no longer be sending him nude photographs of herself.

My smelly source informed me "Zac now feels a sense of accomplishment...satisfaction almost. He doesn't care whether she has shaved or not. He doesn't want to be with her anymore, even if it means he will be getting no more racy images. He believes that proving he could beat Joe's record was worth the risk. He has no regrets."

It is also said that Mr Efron's parents, David and Starla Efron, were astounded when they heard the good news. A family friend said, "They are so proud of their son. He has given up a lot in the past couple of years (Footloose, his appendix) and now he is girlfriend-less. Vanessa is a great girl but Zac felt that the spark had gone out."

Efron had wanted a split for a while but was not sure of the best way to do it. He was even contemplating 'coming out'.

I was told, "He was intrigued by Joe's innovative use of technology to dump Taylor and since Zac never does anything low key we anticipated a similar course of events. Zac is looking forward to a fresh start with someone new."

I'm sure Zac will find a new lover soon. Hopefully [s]he will have had some experience with cameras. It could be a dump-y, I mean, bumpy ride...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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