Afghanistan - (Kabulshit): Soldiers of the 101st Airborne Division are firing weapons carrying weird, loosely encrypted inscriptions 'including astrological glyphs' relating to chapters of Dan Brown's hagiography The Da Vinci Code.
The branded weaponry has been sourced to a Las Vegas arsenal whose contract to supply more than 8,000,000 sights to the Pentagram, er... Pentagon! - may have been secured on the throw of a Seizures Palace dice throw.
Some automatic long-range weapons also appear to have numerological carvings, references to The Illuminati and pentacle-guided laser support systems
A spokesman for the Military Religious Freedoms Foundation today blamed pesky Wiccan interests who have managed to overturn military lore to allow pagan soldiers' gravestones to carry occult symbols.
Last week one of the Airborne's grunts complained that his Mary Magdalene-eating-a-Taco sigil "really took the biscuit".
The Rev Pat Robertson's 700 Club has offered to remote-bless the weaponry in a classic Hellfire Club banishing ritual exorcism.
Ex-US Defense Secretary Gen Colon Bowel is 69.