Written by Rebut

Friday, 1 October 2004

image for Geragos Defending Fraudster In Next Case
It's crap. I tried it about 230 years ago and it's done nothing!

Mark Geragos has confirmed that his next case will be the defense of Alan Lamont the anti-ageing ointment salesman. Lamont is charged with multiple counts of fraud while Geragos is of course the defense attorney of Scott Peterson currently being tried for double murder. Speaking to the San Jose Mercury, Geragos said that defending Lamont could well prove harder than Peterson.

Lamont was arrested by the New York Police Department, who allege that the products sold by Lamont constitute a misrepresentation, in that they could never hope to deliver what is being promised by Lamont.

New York Detective Ray Lopez said that Lamont had been making a fortune by selling an ointment known as 'Longterm' to the old and the gullible. Elderly people, in the main, believed it offered the solution to staying young forever and were paying almost anything they were asked.

Lopez was particularly angry because it involved mainly the elderly who were willing to try anything to live longer. He said that there was nothing that Geragos could say or do to talk a jury into believing that Lamont was anything but a con man and a liar.

The clerk of the criminal court was also of the view that Lamont was facing major problems. Anthony Lyons confirmed that Lamont had previously been convicted of fraud on no less than five occasions in the past. He said that he had drawn the prosecution's attention to the fact that three of the five convictions were in Europe.

Attempts by satisfied customers to stay the prosecution have fallen on deaf ears. A grand jury has already sent it to trial with jurors remarking on the disgusting conduct of Lamont. They said that it is this kind of animal that must be sent to prison for a very long time.

Major pharmaceutical companies have distanced themselves from Lamont. A spokesman for one of the largest, Bayer said that it was this kind of fraudulent conduct which brought the whole industry into disrepute.

Through a bit of cunning a junior reporter from this newspaper was able to obtain a copy of Lamont's prior convictions. In order to assist you they are the following :

1653 Germany - Fraud Served 2 years
1771 France - Fraud Served 3 years
1845 Britain - Fraud Served 4 years
1904 USA - Fraud Served 3 years
1944 USA - Fraud Served 2 years

It is hard to believe that with all those prior convictions that Lamont won't be sent away for a very long time. Some will say that the fact that he had been convicted long before America even existed, should be grounds enough for the death penalty.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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