In what may be the year's biggest political news, leaked internal memos show that Civic Action Group is the real force behind the T-Bagger movement!
A memo titled: Project Trojan Horse, Destroying The Republican Party, was developed in early 2009 in anticipation of the 2010 & 2012 elections. "We knew that there would be a fall off in 2010," said a source speaking on condition of anonymity. He continued, "and there would be an intense backlash from the racists and the right wing whack jobs around the country after the election of Obama. We just never realized how easy it would be to juice up the wing nuts, or that we would have so much help from the crazies at Fox News and Limbaugh."
When asked how many of their members took part, the spokesman was vague. "Well, we had a cadre of talented people, some from politics and more than a few from theatre schools around the country, particularly the Julliard School and Northwestern University. These folks were then trained by us in the art of red neck speak, poster design, and rabble rousing. It was like lighting a match to dry leaves and then comes along, O'Reilly, Limbaugh, and Beck. It was like Tinker's, to Ever's, to Chance, a real triple play! And then comes Sarah, a gift from heaven! The Republican Party is dust and none of them have the balls to speak out against the rabble rousers, which, in fact, turns out to be us!"
A reporter contacted T J McCorkle, one of the most outspoken members of the T-Baggers.
McCorkle laughed, "Well, as long as the word is out, you might as well know. I am not really T J McCorkle. I am Adam H. Smith III, a graduate of the Yale Divinity School with a minor in theatre. This seemed like a gig that would fit both of my qualifications and do some good at the same time. Man, it has been a hoot! These people are like a bunch of sheep and if I may say so, dumber than wood. If I have to say "gobmint" one more time instead of government, I think I am going to puke!
"My God, some of these folks have so much nose hair, you'd think a Chihuahua had crawled up their nostril and died. And the women, I can't tell you how many I have seen at rallies that have fewer teeth than my Halloween pumpkin. These are some kind of mean mothers though and I don't want to be here in Louisburg when the news breaks. I'm out of here now.
"I'm going to take a shower, find some tofu and a latte, and hope I never have to see a pork rind again in my life."