NOME, Alaska - Judge Phineas F. Babbleface, of the sixth judicial court of Alaska has ruled against The Nome Daily Gazette and informed them that their writers will no longer be allowed to use the words "Nude" and "Naked" in the same sentence.
Judge Babbleface was acting on a lawsuit brought about by a Mr. Blarney Higginflucker, of Nome. Higginflucker, who is believed to be an atheist stated that he has never used either of those two words and that he does not want anyone else using them either.
The Nome Daily Gazette filed a counter-lawsuit against Higginflucker telling him that he had no basis for such an utterly ridiculous request.
Higginflucker's attorney Shaneeka Nacanooki, a 23-year-old lifelong Eskimo, said that Mr. Higginflucker is within his rights and that if he does not want the writers of The Nome Daily Gazette using the words "Nude" and "Naked" in the same sentence then he has a right as a card-carrying American to sue the newspaper to force them to comply with his outlandish wishes.
Meanwhile The Daily Gazette has hired the services of one of the best frivolous lawsuit law firms in the entire United States, the Philadelphia firm of Broadcloth, Fleetline, Montemayor, and Peachowitz.
The Philadelphia firm deals with nothing but frivolous lawsuit cases and they have compiled an astonishing record of 789-0.
SIDENOTE: Judge Phineas F. Babbleface reportedly confided to his good friend and fellow big game hunter Sarah Palin that he is going to reverse his decision in the matter. When asked why, he replied that he just wanted to put the spotlight on Mr. Higginflucker and then turn around and make him look like a bumbling jerk for even making such a preposterously absurd and ludicrously quixotic request in the first place. Palin smiled, gave the judge two thumbs up and replied, "Gotcha Phinny!"
