Barrack Obama has denied he was kidnapped by a 9 year old Halloween Pirate Boy. He says the one million pound cheque that was given to Jack the Scottish Pirate was simply given to him to help him fund his space trip to Mars to fight the Giant Worms. He said the kidnapping was just a big cover-up because he didn't want people panicking about giant monsters.
He says that he won't be going to Scotland in the near future (not because he's scared Jack will Kidnap him again) but because he has to stay in America at this crucial time to co-ordinate the earth's battle with the Giant Worms.
The space ship will be ready to blast off at the end of the week and Jack has sent a message to Gordon Brown to say he is welcome to join him on the adventure if he wants to come.
But Gordon has said, although he would love to go, he just can't fit a space trip into his busy schedule at the moment.
But he will supply Jack with a Robot Moon Warrior with Worm translation skills to help him communicate with the Mars Monsters.
Jack's little sister doesn't want to go to Mars either because she's got a Birthday Party to go to that she just can't miss.
By Katarina Frogpond
(With additional research information supplied by Agent B)